Munirahdrs

HOMEINSTAGRAMTWITTERFACEBOOKFOLLOW
Sukar. Sukar kalau awak nak sembuhkan hati awak, tapi awak tak beri ruang kemaafan kepada orang yang membuat awak terluka. Sebab setiap kali penyembuhan hampir 100% secara automatik ia akan menurun semula sebab tiada kemaafan dari awak.

Betul. Memaafkan tak semudah itu. Siapa kata senang memaafkan untuk orang yang kita dah letak sepenuh harapan, dan dia khianati segala-galanya atas alasan yang mungkin sukar untuk diterima. Tak semudah tu.

Tapi bila awak berada di dalam keadaan untuk membaik pulih hati, dengan tidak memaafkan menjadikan segala-galanya susah.

Sebab maaf dan ikhlas ini saling berkait..

Awak selalu cakap "saya dah moe on". Tapi adakah awak benar-benar move on tika mana awak marah melihat gambar si dia, awak terasa hati bila melihat apa dia tulis, dan awak akan kecewa menangis bila terserempak dengan dia di mana-mana. Awak cari peluang untuk jatuhkan dia. Berdendam sebab dia 'slowly' membunuh hati dan perasaan awak.

Memaafkan itu melepaskan dengan REDHA.

Ada perkara yang awak sangka dia baik dulu, tapi hari ini dia buktikan yang dia tidaklah sebagus awak sangka. Awak sangka dia setia. Menemani dan membimbing awak dunia sampai akhirat. Hari ini, apa yang terjadi tidaklah sebagaimana awak impikan.

Lepaskanlah.

Dengan melepaskan yang lama, baru awak beroleh peluang untuk jalani hidup baru. Suasana baru. Dan pasti orang-orang yang baru. Hidup baru yang awak akan hadapi kelak, pasti lebih baik dari sebelum ini, mimpi-mimpi yang hancur sedikit demi sedikit.

Maafkanlah dengan ikhlas.
Pergi jauh membawa diri.

Dan mulai esok. Hari yang baru (01.01.2020). Buat sebagaimana awak cita-citakan selama ini. Impian. Buat sesuatu yang awak tak pernah berpeluang buat satu tika dulu. "Spent time" dengan family. Kawan-kawan, travel, fokus untuk improve diri awak..

Kita ni boleh jadi tak dapat gapai apa yang kita nak. Nak bercinta dengan orang betul. Nak berkasih sayang dengan orang yang memahami belum tercapai lagi.

Tapi. kita juga bukanlah orang paling malang.. kan?
"I didn't give up on you. I had to let you go."

I didn't give up on you. I had to let you go, I had you all wrong. I don't think you even noticed that you're being distant, you've been acting strange or even bother to at least give me the bare minimum of concern and attention. And that made me realized too. I see myself hanging on to something that isn't there anymore. 

Looking at the way you treated me, I can sense you don't even feel that way about me anymore. It was an important decision to think through. I have to stop torturing myself like this. I care about you but it isn't fair if you don't reciprocate those emotions and feelings back. 
Seeig you treated me so cold, I could tell that this ultimatum was coming but I keep convincing myself and I didn't want to believe it but 'hey' here we are. The fact that you're in denial is because you don't see it from now I see it. I do because I noticed the slightest change.

You not who  though you were. It was going so well in beginning. So what made you change? Is it because your attention is on someone else now and even so despite telling you how uncomfortable I am, you saying sorry repeatedly won't suffice if you keep doing it. And I don't wanna point out what's your mistake in here bcs im so done shrieking like an old lady for you to notice what is actually your fault when you see I don't think you understand or figured out what is it that you really want. I needed to heal. My heart is damage enough. I need to accept this and allow it to move on. I didn't give up on you but this decision is the rightful thing to do. This is why I had to let you go.

So if you ever found out about this, read all of it and realized that it is about you but then again, I really couldn't care less if you knew or did care about me in the first place, you wouldn't put me in such a mess.

"Because you didn't want to lose him, you lost yourself in the process."

You became a girl who kept being mistreated and you formed a habit of saying "I'm used to it". You became a girl who kept being unappreciated and you began to tell yourself "It's okay". You became a girl who kept being undervalued and you learned how to say "I'm fine". You became a girl who kept being put last and you naturally reacted with "It's whatever". You became a girl who kept being taken for granted and you dealt with it by repeating "Everything's okay". You became a girl who kept being unhappy and you regularly told people "I'm gonna be fine". And if you're reading this right now, then you need to understand that no guy is worth losing yourself for, no guy is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness, and no guy is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making him happy. At this point, perhaps losing him is the only way I'd be able to get myself back because as much as I wouldn't want of finding myself and he's the only reason I've lost myself for so long.
Newer Posts Older Posts Home

Operator

Hello, I'm munirah. 20 to be. Working to repay my parents. I may look serious and arrogant but im cute. Wish i could do what i archieve to make future bright.

Blog Archive

  • ▼  2019 (3)
    • ▼  December (1)
      • Sukar
    • ►  May (1)
      • "I didn't give up on you. I had to let you go." ...
    • ►  April (1)
      • "Because you didn't want to lose him, you lost ...
  • ►  2018 (4)
    • ►  May (4)
  • ►  2017 (4)
    • ►  June (1)
    • ►  April (1)
    • ►  March (2)
  • ►  2016 (12)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  August (3)
    • ►  June (1)
    • ►  May (5)
    • ►  February (1)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2015 (9)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  September (4)
    • ►  August (3)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2013 (3)
    • ►  December (2)
    • ►  June (1)
  • ►  2012 (3)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  November (2)

My Blog List

  • Sabrina Tajudin
    Origin Hybrid SpinePro Mattress Review
  • LYSSA FAIZUREEN
    Senarai Penuh Pemenang Anugerah Juara Lagu 34 #AJL34
  • Irine Nadia
    Persediaan Car Seat Tahun 2020 Untuk Anak-Anak
  • beautiful lie
    059: of 'things currently on my list'
  • Aizat Abd
    Trip to South Korea : Pyeongchang Day 2
  • WANASEOBY
    Anon and her hate letter.

Copyright © 2016 Munirahdrs. Created By OddThemes & Distributed By Free Blogger Templates